Venue – Moor Park

First day of the new season and we are off to a flyer. Debuts and debut goals were order of the day as the mighty Excelsior smashed 6 past a lacklustre Old England.

The new boots, kits, shin pads and faces filled the changing rooms with that fresh new leather smell up until Ross brought in our kit for today's game. The club was nice enough to lend him the kit and Ross returned the gesture by lending them to his pals, possibly some kind of animals that wash once a millennia and instead of cleaning the kit he decided to leave it in his boot all summer with the zip shut fast. The smell, to describe it, imagine a pint of gold top left out all day in the sun, then piss in it and that's about it. Ross, many thanks.

Back to business. The tension and nerves were clearly getting to Steve on match day one, eating in to our 30 minute warm up with a 20 minute team talk. His formation 4-4-2, handing out debuts to Lizzie, Mark Green and Nico. In the sticks Ross. Rear guard left to right, Nico, Andy Mac, Mark Green and Darren Worall. Engine room, Scholes, Fiss, George and Lizzie. Up front Hunty and Sean Lonsdale.

In a scrappy 10 minutes the only action to report was the Old England centre half getting himself booked for calling the referee an obscenity. The flood gates opened on around 15 minutes. Lizzie was pole axed by the other, over excited, centre half on edge of their 18. Scholes stepped up with his trusty left foot and bent one up and over the wall, like a postage stamp, right in the top corner. 1-0 Excelsior.

To make it 2-0 it was nothing spectacular. A free kick awarded to Excelsior on the edge of the Old E 18 yard line was defending by shoving over Scholes in the box. The penalty was converted by Fiss, tucked in past the keepers left post.

Hunty made it 3 by half time with a text book finish. We went in 3-0 up. Gaffer made his point clear – "It's down to you guys on the pitch" that quote will be written on his head stone. The whistle blew to start the second half and the onslaught continued. Debutants Lizzie and Mark Green got their Excelsior goal campaigns off to a fine start with a goal a piece. Green's came from an Excelsior corner that was half cleared by the Old England winger. The ball was nodded down by Fiss into Greeny's path who smashed the ball into the bottom corner from 20 yards. Lizzie made it 5 after a great run and shot after coming in from down the right side, it was coming all day.

The final nail in the Old England coffin was hammered in by Scholes who made the most of some more awful defending. It was likened to playing against a bunch of pregnant women, with bad backs and club foot; they were just a poor advert for our fine Sunday League. Final Score : 6-0

Man OTM : Scholesy
Moment OTM : All ninety minutes of our first game with the bigger boys

Match Rating

Ross – 7 - Not much to do. Made a couple of good saves
Nico – 7 - First game and a great start. Mr Composure
Andy Mc – 7 - Clean sheet little to do
Green – 8 - Little to do at the back. Scored a great goal
Neil – 7 - Played well, not much to do at the back
Lizzie – 8 - Great game. Caused problems all game and scored
George – 8 - Great start to the season. Usual ground and pound
Scholes – 9 - 2 goals and gave their right back a bad day
Hunty – 8 – Good start, good physical side and took his goal well
Sean – 7 – Unlucky not to score. Worked hard all morning