north west kitchens 9/11/08
Another edition of Scholes writes....
Lets see if it causes as much of as stir as last week..
It another fabulous average Sunday morning, Excelsior turned up at Commonedge Road to look horns with a BAD SIDE!!!
As usual the atmosphere in the changing rooms was superb and confidence was high as usual. Gaffer read out the side and the starting eleven was going to be the same with Hunty is goal, Nico right back, Neil left back, Per and Greeny in at centre back, Mercer (shock) on the right wing, Lizzy (love you) on the left wing, myself (that’s me Scholesy) and Fiss in the centre of the park and up front Wozz (I’ll take it easy on you this week) and Seano. But noticeable absentees in the changing room were Hopesy and George to the surprise of many.
As the Excelsior boys left the changing room to begin their walk of death to the further pitch on Commonedge the wind was gradually picking up. Fiss let the other guy win the toss off, well I’m not sure if he did would thought in my head this sounded funny.
Excelsior kicked off straight away going at the opposition and forcing them onto the back foot. But the only first real chance came after 10 minutes when Scholesy lobbed a ball over the backline for Mercer to run onto only to have his feeble shot nearly hit the corner flag. After that Excelsior didn’t really create many clear cut chances and only had little sniffs at goal. The referee also thought today would be a good game to try out his new whistle and was constantly blowing up for everything tackle. Once Excelsior got the ball down and started playing it the opposition just couldn’t cope and began chasing shadows.
The half time whistle went and with Excelsior going in with their heads down the gaffer gave us a much needed kick up the arse and off we went kicking into the wind but with our tails in the air looking to take the game to the opposition (still don’t know their name). The second half kicked off with that bad side still getting us to bite at their stupid comments. Especially that fat fellow in the middle of the park, now mate you were a badddddddddddddddddddd player.
Excelsior finally took the lead with some excellent work from Lizzy in the box resulted in him rounding the keeper and either himself and Wozz poking the ball into the open net, 1 nil Excelsior.
Literally as soon as this goal went in the heavens opened up and god started having a piss all over us. With all players unable to see during this time it took a free kick to come straight back for the referee to call the game off much to the disagreement of the Excelsior players and the opposition until they realised they’d replay it (silly gits we’ll smashed you next time do you not realise this).
So after the referees antics not much happened except for Wes getting his chicken legs out and sitting in his boxers at the club.
Moan of the match: I can’t really remember much moaning to be honest, thing Mercer wanted a moan when he was substituted but never. I can only remember my own when the chunky centre midfielder said I’ve got Scholesy he’s a biter and I replied with “Chubbs you’ve never had me”. It’s a bad shout but all I can muster.
Man of the 70minute Match: Erm don’t have a clue, gaffer said I was the best of a bad bunch but I thought Hunty was having a solid game in my opinion.
My ratings:-
Van Huntelaar of Anchorsholme - Was looking very solid in goal and would’ve been extremely surprised if he would’ve conceded today (8)
Nico – Average at best not upto his usual standards (6.5)
Neil – Improved a lot since his first game back last week, did very well when sweeping and covering the centre halfs (7.5)
Greeny – Didn’t think he got caught out this week but I’m sure Mercer will disagree, won his headers as usual and commanded the back line (7.5)
Per – seems to be settling in and getting stronger with each game, could be great competition with the MacKenzie’s (8)
Mercer – apart from his shot that hit the corner flag he didn’t seem to be able to get into the game against a very average left back (6)
Lizzy – again same as Mercer couldn’t seem to get into the match, his one moment of magic did get us the goal so I’ll give my lover a (9.5)
Fiss – my second lover ran his socks off as usual just the way I like it, didn’t seem to be able to pull the strings the way he would’ve liked but his work rate again was second to known (8)
Wozza – Worked hard on the scraps he was fed and unsure whether it was his goal or Lizzy but nevertheless still caused problems (8)
Sean – As usual worked hard and pushed onto the shoulders of the defenders well to cause them problems, same as Wozza would’ve had more opportunities if the lines man stopped cheating.
George & Jeff – both unfortunately didn’t have long enough to impress as the referee called the game short.
Ratings
Scholes... not even gonna grace your wind-ups with a reply!! Just my ratings:-
Huntelaar - Not much to do, good kicking and decision making (7)
Nico - Not really tested especially first half when they played 6 at the back, no alarms (7)
Village Green - Apart from one air shot, solid and good on the ball (7)
Per - Good heading and ball winning, not tested really (7)
Neil - Better, more to do than Nico, no problems (7)
Scholes - Needs to look right every now and again, suffered from midfield being bypassed (6)
Fiss - Good workrate as ever, suffered from ball traveling over his head alot (6)
Lizzie - Saw more of the ball than most, end product will come with games (6)
Sean - Feeding of scraps, when he did get a chance the liner had his flag up. (6)
Woz - same as Sean, not enough of the ball (6)
What was the ref doing? Probably a blessing for us though cos we were pretty crap. Unable to pass the ball on the deck to the man in space, simple balls. Very frustrating when your constantly in acres waiting for the ball. We should be battering teams like that.
Some more ratings..
I agree merce, very poor as was the second half last week and we should be doing better against these sides but no doubt the same 11 will get another go next time!
Ratings..
Hunty-8 Did everying required, good kicking.
Nico-6.5 Did defensive dutys fine, not so productive with ball today.
Greeny-6.5 Decent game, few to many long balls for that wind.
Per-7 Good heading, probably pick of defence.
Neil-6.5 The most to do defensively and did ok, couple of air swings i noticed though.
Mercer-6.5 Didnt have best game but he is in a lot of space a lot of the time and is ignored.
Fiss-7 Workrate always gets him at least 7 but not much else from skipper today.
Scholes-6.5 3 BAD shots in first 10 mins, most likely to create but thwarted by a dodgy liner.
Lizzie-7 For everything til final product, 5 for that at best.
Craig-7 Most likely to score again but lacking good service although again that liner.
Sean-7 Worked hard but again no service and cheating bast**d
liner.
George, Jeff- Not enough time.
Me- Great lining and great warm up!
Just like to say dont go on your jollies in you want to play for another 7 games, and counting. Although the rules dont seem to applie for everyone!
Ratings
Hard to do this this week. Shite game, shite conditions, shite ref. Enough said
Huntlaar - 7 - didn't have much to do. Did well with his kicks as always
Nico - 7 - Did well, composed as ever some bad passes but the weather did not help
Crown Green Bowls - 6 - Did his stuff defensively, too many poor long balls
Percolator - 7 - Solid at the back, no nonsense
Neil - 7 - Almost back to top form with the impending debt ban almost in force
Mercer - 6 - Found space just hard to hear in force 10 gales
Scholes - 6 - Played well just not utilized
Lizzy - 7 - Getting better and better. Great goal should have finished the 1st chance but as long as they go in it doesn't matter.
Wozzer - 6 - We just didn't use the big man. Fed on scraps!
Sean - 6 - Did his best to force his way in to the game. Fed on scraps again!
I agree with the masses, we did play pretty bad on Sunday however I'm happy with a replay because we know we will smash them to bits with a bit more style next time. We did manage to get the lead even though we were playing awful so that’s not a bad sign. It was such poor conditions and we couldn't get going with the wind, rain, long balls, ref, linesman and so on.
We're better off with a replay.
Steve - you might need some spare knickers for the Go Karts pal, I'm gunna show you my EFAD pit maneuver!!
Fiss
Which genius wrote it this week?
Someone else really needs to start doing these match reports. You don't need to mention the author, just read it and you'll know,
"...myself (that’s me Scholesy) and Fiss in the centre of the park" - emm a bit of a clue there.
"....when Scholesy lobbed a ball over the backline" - could it really be?
"...said I’ve got Scholesy he’s a biter and I replied with “Chubbs you’ve never had me” - I'm sure it is now!
"...Man of the 70minute Match: Erm don’t have a clue, gaffer said I was the best of a bad bunch" - Are you sure this happened pal? No one else thought you were.
Yes it is Scholes, who else would do a match report that is Scholesy up the arse?
Are we ready for a different view of these matches or shall we change to FC Scholes, play at Scholesly Gate, with Scholes in nets, back four of Scholes, the four midfielders Scholes and up front, who else, Scholes. On the bench would be Scholesy and managing the side would have to be Scholes. Then after a game we'd all go back to Scholesy's for a pint of Scholesy and watch the Scholes while we all talk about Scholesy.
Other teams are going to think we’re a bunch of retards after reading that garbage
Poor report, annoying to read for the neutral I’m sure but I bet your Mum loves it Scholesy
My Richard
Leave my Richard alone, your just jealous because he's the 5th best left back in Blackpool. Who are you anyway, at least put your name to your post.
Harsh!
A little harsh, from a spectators point of view it is scholsey we all come to see and he never disappoints. He's a magician with a football and i wish i was him.
Wooooooooooooooooo got some
Wooooooooooooooooo got some massive biters this week except they're too scared to put their names come on man up.
I've got to change my biting tactics each week cause obviously can't use the same ones as last week.
But lets just take a stab in the dark at who these bitter people are who could be "The Editor" and "The Spectator" hmmmmmmm.
First choice could be Ben "Lets all cry because we don't get a game and then threaten to leave so the gaffer will play me" Hopes.
Second choice could be Darren "Lets not make it too obvious that I'm annoyed at not playing with the comment of 'I'm sure the same team will get a chance next game" Worrall.
and thirdly could it be Liam "Sneak on the website as other people" Frend ------- yes we knows its sometimes you, you mess.
Although fourth choice could be a sneaky Ross "eat my ass with a spoon"Parker.
But whoever you are I don't care, my Mummy loves me and if you want my position prove that you deserve not b*tch and give me bad match ratings. Oh and Mr Editor can I have my line back please cause I've just reeled you in wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Fishing for idiots
As you can see I win at fishing for idiots, Ive caught the biggest!!
BOYS BOYS AND OBVIOUSLY SOME
BOYS BOYS AND OBVIOUSLY SOME BITCHES
what the hell is all shit about, see ratings dont do anything do they just cause crap, in future it should down to euther steve or jon to do stats.
end of the day why is there even a report for sunday game doesn't count liz's stroke woz's goal doesn't count so just forget about it, just doing mu nut in and have a problem say in training or the before the match like.
Nah
People who post under names like number 1 instead of their own cause the problems. Its ok making names up when you are posting something jovial so lets try and keep it to banter ,except if its aimed at Scholes ;-). Nothing wrong with doing ratings, bit of fun as long as people don't take it the wrong way!
Banter
As I said to Scholes last night none of those comments are from me, so don't make me prime suspect number 1!!!
I know it's not you Benjamine
I know it's not you Benjamin, not from your IP address!!
Ben Hopes fraudulently posting since 2005
I'm positive I was at your funeral last week?
This can't be happening!!
You still alive or just forgotten where you last had your boots?
If you had a son called Neil Oliver would it have N.O Hope?
See you Monday Benson
Fiss
Sherlock Holmes...
How did you manage to sus out im not happy? I thought i had disguised my comments really well. Never ask me to play cluedo with you! Im not the 'Editor' by the way but it did make me chuckle so i added to the banter, im the 'spectator.'
Yep!!!
Careful what you wish for.
Merc, can you stop people
Merc, can you stop people posting comments unless they use their proper names
IP address hidden
Are we going to get any other >70minutes of match play match reports or shall we all keeping going on about how Scholesy rushed this weeks episode of FC Excelsior and how clever Mercer is for collecting IP address' like rare stamps!!
Training on Wednesday was the dogs, those who missed out - unlucky. Just the right amount for the dream team 5 V's the reserves, management and Sean 6.
Back to outdoors on Monday @ 19:30 so lets make the effort (Greeny - one touch joinery) because we will need around 14 to have a decent session. It would be nice to see a few more faces from the squad coming down. We have good trainers and no trainers at the minute. Allow me to shame you - Greeny, Nico, Neil, Hopes, Jeff, Mercer, Steve Mc v1.0 and if Ive missed any other repeat offenders then thats just because we never see you.
See you all Monday 17/11/2008 at training 19:30 Blackpool and the Fylde College all weather pitches.
Fiss
ive explained 2 top brass
ive explained 2 top brass that i carnt make training due 2 the fact i work away during the week....and when i do get the chance 2 be be home i will be first there...so any chance my name cud be removed from the above please.
Council Game
I was playing a game for the council. It's the only 90 minutes I've played all season :)
Please can I be removed from the list Fizzy pop!!
i hope ur not blaming
i hope ur not blaming scholesy for that ben!!!!
work, work work
I work most Wednesday nights at the moment, but I can make Mondays and Tuesdays every week, not that I need to justify to any of you lot!! ;-)
what!!!
You guys meke me laugh your such a bunch of Faggots !! Hopsey i see your going to give dezzy a run for his money this year for the most moaning bitch of the side and if you carnt get out of your drunken pit then how do you expect to play. Fiss is right we need more faces at training and also for him not to be late to set an example. Merce you dont have to justify yourself to anybody you do mor for this team than most. Neil you keep trucking son i just hope that you read the signs rite. Scholsey aleast you put the effort in to writing the dam things i wish a few others would take the time. And can we please leave richards mum out of this i have my eye on her.
Hey!!!
That moaning trophy is mine, its in the bag, the rest of you are fighting for 2nd place. The 'bitch' though is the one who slags off under 'anonymous.' And can people at least atempt too spel corectly.
Spell Checker
It's not moaning it's called tongue 'n' cheek you goon!!
i wonder who is anonymous.
i wonder who is anonymous. Could it be Neil who writes can't (carnt) - BUSTED.
I am worthy of being named and shamed as i have no excuse. I shall take the punishment like a man.
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