old england 2/11/08
This week we are treated to the journalistic talents of Richard 'Scholesy' Cookney, who has provided us (with some influence from Greeny) with this weeks match report vs Old England.
The sun was shining on a bright Sunday morning at Fortress Squires Gate as Excelsior lined up with a strong side to face the lowly Old England who they had previously smashed 6 nil on the opening game of the season.
Excelsior lined up with Hunty is goal who was replacing Ross who had gone wondering somewhere again. Across the back line was Nico at right back, Neil back in at left back, with centre halfs being Per and Greeny as Andy Mac was sidelined with a bad back (must be the old age). Across the midfield was Mercer in at his usual right wing position, Lizzy staying in the side on the left keeping Jeff out and in the middle of the park Fiss and Scholesy. Upfront the usual strike force of Wozza and Sean. On the bench was well far too many again to name.
Old England kicked off playing into the sun and the kop for the first half and instantly as it’s been in every home game this year Excelsior set about getting an early goal with every attack coming from down the flanks.
Excelsior opened the scoring within the first few minute after another attack down the left allowed Wozza to square the ball to Sean but a shout from Scholesy allowed Sean to leave it as Scholesy rounded to keeper only to have the Old England midfielder Garth knick it off him and smash it into the top corner of the open goal, Excelsior on their way again in the opening 10 mins. Instantly Old England heads seemed to drop and it wasn’t long until Excelsior had doubled their lead with Sean going through one on one with the keeper and slotting the ball into the far corner of the goal. If the Old England heads weren’t down they definitely were now as they had just suffered an Excelsior double salvo to kill them off instantly.
Old England started creating a few chances from distance but didn’t trouble the ever confident Craig Hunt in goal. But as soon as Old E were pushing for a consolation Excelsior went straight up the other end to make it 3 when top scorer Craig Worrall smashing in his 1st of the game after skinning 2 defenders and hitting it over the keeper into the roof of the net, by this time Excelsior were cruising and full of confidence. It wasn’t long before a fourth followed when great work by Mercer allowed Wozza to go one on one with the goalkeeper again and as he slotted it past the keeper Scholesy made sure it hit the net to the un-amusement of Wozza who said it was going inbut after various replays and confirmation by Mercer and Lizzy the panellists decided that the ball WAS going wide. It didn’t take long though for Wozza to get his second of the game as yet again shocking defender by Old England allowed the clubs top scorer to go clean through on goal and slot it into the bottom corner to make it 5 nil at the break.
So half time was blown and Excelsior went in five goals up as has been the way this season so many times at home. After some more words of encouragement by the gaffer Excelsior set out to close out the game but it was Old England who came out of the blocks and snatched a consolation goal after an absolutely shocking half hearted hospital ball by Mercer was intercepted it let the Old England forward clean through on goal and he calmly slotted it past Hunty at his near post.
It wasn’t long before Excelsior had there 5 goal cushion back as Master Green picked the ball up on the half way line and instantly looked for his best pal Mercer, as Greeny floated a ball over the back line Mercer gambled and sneaked in ahead of the goalkeeper who he rounded and slotted the ball into the open goal. That was Old England knocked back into their place and Excelsior back on track.
After the 5th went in the Gaffer decided to ring in the changes firstly replacing Scholesy to rapturous applause from the thousands of supporters in the stands (in Scholesy’s head) by the solid Scottish midfielder George.
I couldn’t comment on the second Old England goal but as I heard from fellow players it was all Hunty’s fault. So the game ended 6-2 when really it could’ve been so much more but not too bad of a record against them played 2, won 2, goals for 12, goals against 2 and points 6 not a bad record to be honest gaffer.
Moment of the match: The winger falling over backwards and Neil laughing and pointing at him.
Man of the match: In my opinion it was Lizzy, he ran at the defender like any winger should do and caused him endless problems. Was always an outlet for Scholesy and Fiss and should of deserved a goal.
Match Ratings:
Hunty (7) – Superb kicking as ever and feel extremely confident with him in goal.
Nico (8) – Another superb game, loves to overlap and still haven’t seen a winger get past him yet.
Neil (6.5) – First game back for Neil and could tell, will definitely get better with games.
Greeny (7.5) – Set up a goal and should have had one himself. Think Scholesy should shoot next time instead of laying it on a plate for him.
Pear (8.5) – Awesome at centre half, won his headers and looked extremely confident on the ball.
Mercer (My rating 6.5 / Greeny’s rating a 2) – Scored a goal and set up some first half but did nothing else apart from that, not the usual Mercer we’re used to.
Lizzy (9.5) – Again like I said my Man of the match was superb on the wing and will only get better.
Fiss (8.5) Work horse in the midfield and helps me out when I’m struggling, great player to play alongside.
Wozza (7) – Quiet game but still gets his goals like today where he got 2 and robbed Scholesy’s.
Sean (8) – Work horse again as we have become to expect from him, got a goal which he deserved.
George, Wes, Steve (6.5) – None really had long enough to make an impact and impress.
Gaffer (9.5) – Would’ve hit the ten mark but didn’t see you for the last 30 minutes, think you were up Wozza’s bum.
I'm biting
Very good, concise, if not inaccurate report Mr Scholes. couple of things I'd like to pick you up on, firstly the Hospital Ball was a good ball if you had moved and it was on the edge of the Old E box, come to think of it I think Greeny got caught for that goal! Secondly 4 assists and 1 goal out of 6 speaks for itself! B- could do better Richard!!
Hang on come to thing of it
Hang on come to thing of it come to think of it you couldn't of set up 4 goals. Own goal came from my run, my goal came from Wozza's shot, your goal obviously from Greeny. As for the hospital pass I'm pretty sure all eyes were pointing at you when the goal went in. Surely your able to pass the ball more then 4 yards, drill it in next time, drill it in!!!
nit picking
I think you can count it as an assist as yet again it was my through ball to Woz. One day you may be able to call yourself a creative midfielder too? xx
If i'm being perfectly honest...
I think that match report was a load of crap. How the f*ck was i one of the worst players. Cause I'm not baggin' 4 a game you think i'm playing sh*te. Maybe if the midfield weren't so goal hungry, (especially in the second half against O.E.) we would of at least bagged another 5 and doubled our score.
Also I dont usually say things like this but.... The 2 league games i've not played in this season we've lost, the 8 i have played in, we've won... "Touché"
Woz ;-)
If i'm being perfectly honest...
I think that match report was a load of crap. How the f*ck was i one of the worst players. Cause I'm not baggin' 4 a game you think i'm playing sh*te. Maybe if the midfield weren't so goal hungry, (especially in the second half against O.E.) we would of at least bagged another 5 and doubled our score.
Also I dont usually say things like this but.... The 2 league games i've not played in this season we've lost, the 8 i have played in, we've won... "Touché"
Woz ;-)
So many things and so little time....
First of all Woz was so ingidnant about Scholesy's comments he had post it twice!!
Also, Mercer could technically claim an assist for Old E's goal after the hospital ball!!
My ratings...
Van Huntleaar of Anchorsholme - solid performance barr the second goal, no major saves to make.
Nico - 7.5 - Roaming fullback's performance, reminds me of a young Paul Parker!
Neil - played well once he had settled in 6
Green - raking pass for Mercers goal, otherwise solid - 7
Perr - didn't lose a header all game and looked solid along the floor - 7
Mercer - Does a hospital pass count as an assist? Defo 1 goal anyway - 8
Fiss - Work hourse in midfield could have had 3 goals had it not been for the woodwork - 8.5
Thin Lizzy - strong running down the left unlucky not to have hit the target.. once!!! Good game - 8
Wazzle - Could've had 5 but got his 3? Couple of bad touches at the last min let him down. If he scored 5 every week however, I don't think he'd be playin for us! - 7.5
Sean - Got his goal for the 'Lonsdale Stand', nearly scored with 'the trick', unlucky not to have had more - 7
Goerge, Wezlife, Steve Mck (MKll) didn't really have the time to make an impact but all solid nonetheless 6
My MOM is Fiss - Work rate was exceptional filling in at all positions around the pitch at some stage, passing was on top form also.
Wow wee
Hasn't this one caused a stir!!
Good report, got most of the facts in.
Lets not take the ratings to heart otherwise we will have to can them lads and I do find them highly amusing.
Ratings
Huntlaar - 7 - Solid, great kicker. Not really tested
Nico - 8 - Normal high standard. Got up and back in the 1st 45, then it was one or the other in the 2nd.
Greenday - 7 - Good game, set up a goal (luck/judgment who knows?)
Perc - 8 - Solid at the back. The man with a titanium forehead. Heads a ball further than most can volley it.
Neil - 7 - Pi$$ed me off with the poor shout but kind of made up for it. Not quite match fit yet.
Mercer - 8 - Involved in plenty. Some nice little touches and many final balls. Great finish. However, could have made it to 'the one that went out for a throw' incident for sure
Scholes - 8 - Did just the job in the ironman position. Kept the game flowing from the back to the front line.
Lizzy - 8 - Another top performance. Decision making shoot/square situation needs work, the rest, bob on.
Sean - 8 - Another busy game. Unlucky not to have got more and showed some great skill in the box.
Wozzer - 8 - Did well, showed for the ball a lot. Got his goals and was a constant threat.
Well done lads another 3 points. Tough game on Sunday as long as we are all ready we're more than equipped to cope, I'm well up for it, hopefully a nice and physical smash up!!!
Ben Hope, I really hope you find your dummy pal cos the Excelsior have big plans for you. If you don't find yours and come across another would you please address it to Wozzer cos I think he's also spat one out.
Fiss
Tamer Hassan
Fiss,
A little birdie told me that you don't react too kindly at being subbed.
God forbid that ever happening! :)
Hopesey
Fiss
I don't ever remember Fiss being subbed?
Sub?
When you put in shifts like the Fissinator you don't warrent getting subbed.
mercer is having a mare hahah
mercer your pulling the piss out of me aint ya greeny didnt get fricking caught your shocking pass like scholesy ie midfield maestro said in the match report ,and another thing you want to try and get back over that half way line to defend for a change rather than being stuck up wozza,s arse trying to snatch goals like a little rat , now dont be editing this mercer play fair hahah xxxxx
no editing
I think I need to edit it, it took me ten minutes to understand it!! Seriously though keep the ratings coming, there great for team spirit:
Hunty - Good game, apart from one blip, were all allowed one blip though aren't we? 7.5
Nico - Bit quiet behind me, think it was a it too easy for him as he wasn't on my case - 8
Per - Nice and solid, won some good headers - 8
Greeny - What can I say without offending him. Good pass for my goal, otherwise solid - 8
Neil - As Scholes correctly pointed out, looked a little rusty but got some godd challenges in second half - 7
Lizzy - Saw a lot of the ball, made some good runs just needs more of an end product - 7.5
Fiss - Good game again, didnt stop running, unlucky not to score - 8
Scholes - Good passing, poor match report, shouldn't listen to Greeny! - 7.5
Woz - Didn't see as much from him 2nd half but all we need to do is give him the ball - 8
Sean - Great running as ever, unlucky not to score more, compliments Woz perfectly - 8
Subs - Wes, George and Steve - Not enough time for ratings.
All banter aside, we were awesome first half, pretty shite second and that goes for most of us, not playing as a team and looking for the simple balls.
The Final Word!
Hunty - Rather him than me in the sticks.. Good game! 7.5
Nico – Not bad, Kept drifting infield leaving a gap down the right but that’s just knit-picking. - 8
Per - Won some great headers, good addition to the team - 8
Greeny - Should have stayed at the salon on the street. Only messing. Seriously tho, looked a little slow, average performance - 7
Neil - Some good tackles. All be it, most situations were bought upon by himself... Needs practice on his accuracy and 1 yard passing - 6.5
Lizzy - Some nice runs down the flank, performance - 7.5, gotta say tho, shooting - 1.2 at best
Fiss - Good game... bad ball out to Neil in the first half but only the 1 mistake i've gotta give him - 8.5
Scholes - Abysmal match report, Some good through balls, nicked a goal from Wozza, lacks match fitness and hair! - 7.5
Merce - Great hearing off the pitch when people are sneaking off without paying subs, BUT struggles to hear a high pitched squeal from Woz to play a "square ball". Apart from that, ok - 7.5
Woz - Good first half. Didn't see much of the ball second half because of greedy midfielders shooting from every obscure angle possible. Generally feeding off scraps. Suppose we can let him off being joint top scorer in all leagues - 8
Sean - 100% work rate again, started to tire in the second half tho... Remember to keep your body over the ball when shooting pal. On the whole, good performance - 8 on 10.
Dezzy?
This must be Dezzy Worrall right? Can only be the way he is defending Wozza! By the way I set his 2 goals up, my hearing is very good, apart from when Greeny is shouting at me ;-)
For sure
You would put your house on it Merce.
Not me!
Dont bother having my input anymore
Come on Daz
We miss your input and opinions
Its only a laugh Dezzy,
Its only a laugh Dezzy, nobody takes it serious.
Have your say
Not this week..
Maybe next week, you might frown upon what i thought of last weeks second half performance. Beaten 2-1 by bottom of league aint good. Dont want be accused of sour grapes from the bench so not gonna comment on players again until im playing. Yes, ive spat my dummy out as well!
You should do the report in
You should do the report in my opinion if it gets this many responses!!! and again we all see the game differently so here is my evaluation...
Hunty - 8 only one mistake the whole game, plus handled the ball very well and good kicking to try and pick players out.
Nico - 8 good defending and going forward is something we should see more of i think you have a lot to offer other than defending.
Per - 8.5 awsome for me, didn't think he had much to do but was unbeatable in the air, going to challenge big time for places...
Greeny - 8 clever player for me, and its not the only time we have seen him play them perfect balls over the top of the oposition.
Neil - 6.75 good defending in the 2nd half could not say anything negative, 1st half some poor balls played and give the ball away a few times, but has been out of the scene for a while and it was his first game back and i think the nerves got the better of him, that WILL change.
Lizzy - 7.75 played well for me, ran at their right back turning him inside out, end product could have been better, but im possitive that will come. (i think 1 more shot on goal would have gone in!)
scholsey - 7.75 again clever with the ball i think he and fiss works really well and i think he is coming in to a bit of form, as lately this is the best i seen from him, last week was my mom.
Fiss - 7.75 fit, and works really hard solid challenges and unlucky not to get on the score sheet.
Merce - 7.25 tricky one this is, i seen him making some amazing runs and im not sure many people noticed and had loads of space but the ball didn't come, and i think frustration set in in the final stages! first half he held the ball up well and made good runs, and linked up well with nico!
Seany - 8 again fit as sin! makes great runs takes players on gets into good postions and is good at linking up with wozza.
Wozza - 8.5 defences must hate him, scored 2 goals cant say anything about the 3rd, but it doesn't matter! people talk about work rate and so on but it doesn't matter he is a goal scorer and thats what he does and very well hence 20 goals. as long as he is putting them away im not sure anyone can say anything negative.
Me - absolute hydrolicks not fit, no pace, panic when on the ball other than that im the complete player...and oh yeah i love it!!!
Im going to bottle out of mom as i cant make my mind up.
I also know that my ratings are quite high but we won 6-2 so work it out for yourselves...
Ratings
well thought id jump on the ratings train for this week, why not, if the big woz says somet i might aswell!. Also its half 1 in the morning and im still awake!, right ok here goes
Ratings
Huntlaar - 8 - thought he played well actually, was suprised, good distribution and very calm head.
Nico aka terminator - 8 - very solid again down the sides there, also getting further forward which is a plus.
Greenmachine - 8 - both centrehalfs were solid for me, but the 8 goes for his quality pass to merce.
As Per! - 8 - some big heads won, good presence at back with his height and shiney head!
Neil Mitchell! - 7 - Thought he was actually trying to hard, can tell how much he wants his place, needs to relax dare i say that but adds something different down the flanks which is needed.
Danger Mouse - 8 - loved his shout, 'finally' then balloons it over! dissapears at times but always comes up with the goods, assists/goal, every credit.
Scholesy - 8 - think centre midfield is his best position although there is some competition there, really improved in the air, comfortable on ball, good distribution.
Fizz not Fiss! - 9 - was everywhere today, a real captains performance, 110% although did notice his armband missing!
Lizzy - 9 - showed exactly the player he can be and i think theres more, great running, vision, pass's and decisions.
Big Wizzle - 8 - would be a 9 if he would of squared the ball to me on the 3 times that he could of! does the job though when needed, think he could improve his game even further, 50 goals i rec!
Subs - 6
Well there u have it my first ever official lonsdale ratings! just have to try convince my dad to put some up now!
Now for something completely different!
Im going to do some player alikeness but dont get carried away...
Neil = Traora! has not got a clue about going forward and is prone to scoring own goals in cup games i.e. liverpool v burnly = excelsior v progress, but on his day an great defender and a pest, if you beat him and go past him he will be right back at you.
Greeny = Jamie carra! Not scared of putting his well sructured sculped body in the line of fire, clever with the ball and can pick out his team mates, very passionate and sometimes lets his other team mates know it if they fuck up! but also quick to give credit where is due!
Per = Sami hyypia! wins EVERYTHING in the air commands his box with authority, maybe he will be just as more of a threat in the box too.
Nico = Gary Nev! you just know what your getting solid consistant defender, also good at going forward and should do it more if the fitness to get back is there.
Lizzy = Ronaldo at 17! bags of talent turns players inside out, end product need to be worked on but you know it will come, maybe try and place the ball in the top right corner instead of drilling it just to see what happens, i will take bets he gets a minimum of 10 goals this season!
Scholsey = Alonso! great with the ball at his feet rarely gives it away spays balls all over the park and is not scared to take players on, head tends to go down if things arnt going right.
Fiss = Mascherano! all over the park throwing in tackles working like a horse on the prom for his team! maradona also nick names mash "THE BEAST" i can see the alikeness. needs to give away less free kicks in the game.
Mercer = Dirk Kuyt! without the workrate! gets involved holds the ball up well, has moments of great skill and seems to score goals without anyone really knowing how, but it works as a midfielder a goal to game ratio of 0.68 speaks for itself.
Seany = Dirk Kuyt/Milan Baros! works like a hooker in a brothel, not giving defenders any time on the ball, some great skills when in the mood and scores good goals! the Milan Baros syndrome is head down when the ball is at his feet and leaning back when shooting, alot better player when he uses his instincts rarther than having time on the ball.
Wozza = Berbertov/Henry! Doesn't even look like he is trying, moves elagantly across the pitch fast as fook but the legs dont even look like there moving fast at all, great skills and loves to move out to the left like Henry did take a player on and then release a powerful shot, close ball control can sometimes get him frustated as he needs space to run into.
Hunty was too hard to do although reina-esk like kicking.
How about player lookalikies?/
Neil - Gollum
Greeny - Sean from Corrie
Nico - Arnold Swarzzeneger
Scholes - Paul Scholes!
George - Mark Hateley
Wozza - Luca Toni
Ross - A Tramp
Danny H - Xavi Alonso
Andy Mac - Nemanja Vidic
Anymore for anymore?
Lookalikees
Your forgettin the obvious, you as Max Branning!!!
Ross - I actually think looks like Robert Green or Wurzel Gummage, one of the two
Nico - a young David Platt
Sean - a chubby ljungberg
Scholsey - also Butch off Pulp Fiction
Daz Warrel - looks like Marlon Harewood, although thats a little unfair, as Daz is technically a better player :)
Vidic Merce? Thats an insult, he's miles better loooking - although we are both equally as injury prone!
boys love the banter lets
boys love the banter lets keep it going and take it in to the sunday perfomances coz its showing that the team spirit is high and that will help us play better ,
weslife love ya comments but personally thought fizz was terrible 1.2 rating hahahahaha
Its FiSS you ginger little
Its FiSS you ginger little maggot. Get your tongue round it you thalidomide.
Team sprit isn't here because you wound Wozzer up pal, it isn't here because of the grade E GCSE English literature either.
It's taken ages, years of building. Only very few remain who have seen this clubs rise and they are the catalyst for Team Sprit, your still new pal so for a kick off, get your captains fucking name right and pay your subs!!!
dirty kopites
please weslife dont ever compair me 2 a smelly kopite...mabee andy hincliff next time, the best left back englands never seen, and thanks 4 the vote of confidence lads i got a little exited,i had a mare.
I can tell by the spelling
I can tell by the spelling thats you, special agent harrop!!!
The Gaffer Speaks.
Well i think its mine turn now. Lets start with the first half fantastic you played like you were top of the league fantastic balls, great goals, good skill, and plenty of talking. Sean with his pro evo turn, unlucky not to score, wozza looking like berbatov with his flick. and five nil up proves we have what it takes. Then the second half came and we looked like we were the bottom team, foot taken rite of the gas and put us in revervse. Its simple guys we have a great strong team with a great team spirit, but if you want to win this league we will have to step up a gear. Because when we play those big important teams we will get beat, we need to stop being a team of 2 halves and make sure we are consistant throughout the whole match. We have a tough game on sunday they only lost to red rose 6-3 who beat us 9-1 so its im peritive that we win. it will also keep us on track for wining 5 out of every 6. which i think will win us the league. For the guys who didnt get on please be patient you are apart of the team and the squad you will just have to wait for your chance and i will be as fair as i can be. As fiss said some of the subs at the moment i have bigger plans for so please stay focused and remember its about the team not you.
On a darker note please can we make sure that we pay are subs we are still owed over £200. As of next week there will be a new rule for people. If you owe over £25 you wont be allowed to play. Its not fair on the lads who do play and the lads on the sidlines. There are some people who over £30. Like fiss says if you train and play its a £5 a week you know you need to pay so bring it PLEASE!!!!!.
Now for The all important ratings!!
Huntlaar 7.5 Solid in goal had every faith in him 0ne mistake not a problem if been 0-0 a problem.
Nico 8 solid again this guy can play anywhere along the back line.
Gollum 7 looked a little bit rusty but showed good spirit was better in the second half.
Greenday. 8 Good performance Has fitted into the side well. Does show sum creatitivity at times.
Per 8.5 Good solid performance with that titanium head good on the ground good addition to the side.
Lissie 8 looks like he is on his way back to form needs to learn the hokey cokey. and he will find what its all about.
Fiss 8.25 ran his lungs out again should of had a couple of goals gud to see you those positions.
scholsey 8.25 again good in midfield caused problems with his balls and knicked in with a goal.
Merce the rat 8 scored a good goal set up a few more good display.
Wozza 8.5 dont listen to them ytou will do for me good goals just need to look up occasionally.
Seanhoff 8 good work rate again please learn to lean over the ball when you shoot keep going.
Subs George wallace 7 wez 6.5 and Steve 6.5.
lets keep going boys and now we have to start raising the steaks. half way through and a great start we need to push home now the next 6 games are critcical.
Love it
I hope im not the only person chuckling after reading that.
Fiss
I like steak
raising the steaks - bringing the understanding of beef to a whole new level!
Braising steak
I hate braising steak.
It's im peritive that you
It's im peritive that you stay off it then pal.
R.e. Steak
I hate braising steak as well, what is it? And how can meat taste so bad? I think it is years of eating stew with braising steak in that has put me off!
Indeed banter does help to stregthen morale - united in our new found common ground, me and merce will stand together in the face of adversity in then name of Excelsior...
re re steak/stew
I like stew with Neil's spuds in it, fuck the meat!
Yep...
We defo need a weekly slot........the gaffer speaks, it will be an instant hit. Steve, any chance?
like for like
Yes every chance Mr Mercer. now here are my looklikes some have players and other stars linked in.
Rossco Casilas/ old lady down the street.
Huntlaar bruce grobbalaar / rene higita.
Nico gary nev/ arnie ( minature)
Per sanderous /robo cop.
Greeny dunn/kevin of corry.
andy mck vidic- gary mabbutt.
steve mck tony adams
neil billy mitchell/ gollum/ nicky shory
des worrall me mum.
wes Torrid/porn star at basils#
mercer has to be max/ steve stone.
jeff crabbs / the white emile heskey.
lizzie petrov
George wallace/ duncan ferguson
scholsey paul scholes/ gazza.
Fizz roy keane/ drunken bum
danny heatley carey junior/ ronaldildo
hopesy/ the new joey barton/ me gran.
carey darren anderton.
wozza berbatov looks lazy but skilful and shud work for l'oreal.
sean fat freddie lunberg has to be
willapy ralph wigham
john evans colin hendry.
me hilario/ fat dane bowers/ stan lazaredis.
Sorry forgot to add moments
Sorry forgot to add moments of the match.
Neil falling over a worm!
Seanys trick, wish he would have finished!
Me heading the ball and not having a clue where it was!
And finally gaffer saying at half time if anyone screams or calls anyone, instead of supporting them will be brought off, 3 mins into the 2nd half greeny giving merce plenty of shit! i think greeny was heard the gaffer he just didn't listen to him...
Class.....x
Ratings
Popular one this week lads, good to see the banter! Keeps me chuckling anyway.
Ok heres my ratings:
The Hunter: 7.5 Looks the part in the sticks, great kicking and awareness. Angles wrong on one of the goals. Its not his position so every credit for filling in between the sticks.
Steve Nicol - 7.5 Wasn't challenged but did everything right and got forward. Bags of experience and it shows.
Purr - 8 Great presence and heading. Didn't give their forwards a chance.
Greenhouse - 7 Showed good experience and clever play, but a couple of mistakes. Great ball for Mercers goal.
NDH - 7 Put a few passes stray on the first half but soon got into the flow. Tenacious defending as always.
Lizard - 7.5 Quality running, passing and linked up well. Let down by finishing but it will come.
The Cook - 7.5 Looks great on the ball. Quality passing, heading and tackling. Needs a bit more fitness to get box to box.
Tophat - 8.5 Awesome tackling, heading and drive. Some lack of ideas & loose passes in the final third. Fitness & commitment showed through, especially towards the end.
Mercury - 7 Got in some great positions, worked hard and finished a good goal. Whinged a lot about not getting the ball - come deeper or inside to get involved.
Long Dale - 8 Ran into the ground, got into great positions and a constant headache for opposition defence. Allowed Wozza space with his hard work. And of course, the Rocastle trick!
Wurzel - 8 Brilliant finishing, runs and running at defenders. Could have played a few balls in to Sean etc. Looks undefendable at this level.
Subs - Nothing much to show from Mackenzie, didn't get the ball. Wes got a few good touches - needs more minutes for confidence. George got involved quickly and kept the midfield tight.
MOM - Fiss. All over the pitch doing the hard and dirty work.
Moment of the Match - A few have been said before, so how about Fiss berating Neil for asking for the ball in a tricky position. 50/50 in my opinion - bad shout and bad ball!
Good game to watch lads, roll on Sunday.
I have to defend myself
Come on Carey, how can it be part bad ball?
It would have gone right to him had the winger not been tracking his run, in which case he shouldn't have shouted for it from behind me!!!
It was impossible to play because I expected him to be unmarked with the shout I got.
Or is it just me?
Blasting him on the pitch what bad but I hit the end of my fuse in a new record time so it was going to happen.
I've said sorry to the lad and he understands my point.
Good to see your input Carey.
Fiss
PS someone better word Huntlaar up cos Ross claims to have broken his toe at training somehow.
Ross
Ross breaks a toe, or a finger, or an eyelash every week, he'll be there miraculously recovered.
No 1 Fan
Right lads Sean has finally persuaded me to come on here and have my say so here goes .....
I thought you all deserved a 2 rating on Sunday cos you were rubbish (Mercer 1.2 at best), the best player was Sean who deserved a 10. In fact he deserves a 10 every game cos he's the best. He reminds me of me when I used to play, but not as good, in fact he's still not as good as me now!
I warned Sean the other night that if he doesn't finish top goalscorer this season then he will be grounded for a month and MADE to clean his room.
Steve get me a training top, or I'll have yours SD (Seans Dad) - and let me know if you want me to dig out my boots :)
SD
Im guessing that must be hopesy! ha My dad isnt capable of writing that! for one he cant even spell ha!
Last Sunday
From what I saw of the game you lot were a disgrace. I am seriously thinking about booting you off our hallowed turf and you can go back to playing dodge the dog shit on Moor Park. Buck your ideas up, especially the portly chap who plays centre half, can't remember his name but he's the one who gets found out all the time.
Something needs to change
Come on lads somethings not right with the team, personally I feel you should all be wearing tighter shorts and maybe shave your legs as well and tie the front of your shirts in a knot, exposing the belly button, yum.
If you need me to do anything for the club, I am more than happy to help with the rub downs, over seeing showering methods, cleaning the lads shorts after a game and applying the magic sponge to groin strains.
Good luck my favourite lads
Simon (Seans special friend)(the best trainer in the team)
Lads I'm quite disturbed by
Lads I'm quite disturbed by what I'm hearing so I'm prepared to offer a little bonus for every game you win I will provide you with all the tomato ketchup you require to put on you chips after the game(as long as Steve still makes them and goes to the shop and buys them!!).
Seans Dad
Yes that we me and not Seans Dad!
Sorry My Lonsdale
Hopesey
Fella's i am seriously
Fella's i am seriously spliting my sides laughing whoever is coming up with this comedy, is a fucking legend....!
I will also offer a little
I will also offer a little bonus, anyone nominated MOM can have a special treat. Not Wes though, after seeing him in his boxers before, no thankyou. x x x
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